Monday, March 14, 2016

Here's to You Millenials

Over the holidays I interviewed for a job in the City. I haven't interviewed for a job in a long time, but this one really interested me because it was an educational start-up teaching kids through news and current events. Some day, I will get back into news. I don't know how yet, but I will. News is a profession you can grow old in. I often tell my younger friends, think about what you're doing. Because time flies and some professions don't want you when you're older.

For the interview, I went into the City to meet the marketing VP at their offices on 8th Avenue. He is a very nice man, even though he didn't offer me a job. Probably in his early 40's I would guess. Not so far off from where I am. 

He introduced me to his team, all very young people. And I could swear one of them let out an audible gasp when I was introduced, as in I didn't know people could BE as old as you are now. That's part of what led me to this blog about millennials. Hey, my son is one of them. Or maybe even younger. 

Here's what I thought when I heard the audible gasp, though of course I didn't think of it until later. "Good luck with that neck tattoo," I said in my own head much later. "It will serve you well when you're in your 50's." Because nothing looks better in your 50's than a sagging neck tattoo. Good luck with those earring things that are creating giant holes in your ears for what purpose I don't know. Good luck with your impending hearing loss caused by never removing ear buds from your ears. Ever. Good luck with your gigantic thumb pads earned from swiping and texting. 

And then I had this terrible thought. Make it an awful idea. A wonderful, awful idea. Could it be that I'm the Grinch in this scenario? That soon every HR manager I ever meet will have a neck tattoo and something sticking through their ear. That I'm the one who looks strange without earbuds? That my thumb is lacking because it's regular-sized?

"And THEN They'd do something He liked least of all! 
Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small, 
Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing. 
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Whos would start singing! 
They'd sing! And they'd sing! And they'd SING! SING! SING! SING! 
And the more the Grinch thought of this Who ChristmasSing, 
The more the Grinch thought, "I must stop this whole thing!" 
"Why, for fifty-three years I've put up with it now!" 
"I MUST stop this Christmas from coming! But HOW?" 
Then he got an idea! An awful idea! 


  1. Ain't that the truth. I'd add "Good luck with $20 trillion in federal debt. You're welcome."

  2. You're right Will. Good luck on all fronts.

  3. I know I have an odd expression on my face every time I see the neck tattoo and "ear fobs." Adornment is a truly odd thing. -keith