The Ones That Got Away

Tonight I was thinking something. I had this idea to write about something. It may be one of those things that is so hurtful I shouldn't write it. But I was ... wait that's my husband on the phone.

See I have these work husbands / twitter husbands / high school husbands / that I am in touch with regularly. I have a real husband obviously but these guys are out there waiting to be more charming or younger or basically unaware of what a pain in the ass I am.

In real life.

So tonight I was in touch with my twitter husband / work husband / and high school husband at the same time, and I felt kind of weird about it. They are all dear to me in different ways. Really dear to me. Like in ways I sometimes can't explain to my husband. But should I explain to my husband?

The thing is. Here's the thing. My husband knows. He's always known. I've always kept my options open. Because marriage is wow. Marriage is forever. And I never believed in forever.

Work / twitter / high school husbands are all so lovely. And there's this. They don't really know me. The married me. Marriage is rough. Marriage is like fighting over laundry. Marriage is buying a minivan kitted out with a VCR.

Until once in a while you glimpse an older couple who've been together forever. Forever. Argued over laundry until they are blue in the face. And they are still in love. Or like my grandparents, particularly my grandfather, who seemed to be more in love the day he died than maybe the day he married.

I hope.